My Daughter is Just Like My Husband -Ven. Pomnyun’s Dharma Q&A

Ven. Pomnyun's Answer to "My Daughter is Just Like My Husband”

Selection from a Dharma Q&A session at Bethesda Chevy Chase Regional Service Center in Washington D.C. (September 18, 2019)

 

Questioner : It’s been 15 years since I got married and my daughter is 12 years old. Just hitting the beginning of teenager age. 

 Before I even resolved my  relationship with my husband, things that I do not agree with, like his personality-wise or daily habit-wise, I see my daughter displaying the same habits and personalities that my husband has that I’m not crazy about. 

So I noticed lately that the way I try to handle the situation is I’m becoming way too strict and I try to discipline my daughter more than what’s needed because I have the frustration towards my husband and seeing that from my own child is making me go crazy. So I don’t know how to handle this without hurting my daughter because I sometimes do realize I go way above and beyond to try to fix it. 

I know it’s in her, she might have been born with it. It might be her genes. That’s the frustration I have with my own 12-years daughter, handling her. 

So if you can just advise me how I should be a wise mom without worsening this relationship with my daughter, I’ll appreciate it.